Dear first time mom, love third time mom

Dear first time mom,

I see you there, rubbing your belly and talking to your baby. You think of what it will be like when she’s here. How your bond will be. What she’ll look like. How she’ll talk. How she’ll act. You just know you will be so happy once she’s here. You’ve been wanting a baby for a long time and God gave you your baby. You cannot wait for the future.

Well.. sometimes things don’t go like you thought and that’s ok. You didn’t have that instant bond like you thought. You had some postpartum that you NEVER thought you would have. You don’t sleep. You think you’re doing everything wrong. You actually say “why did I decide to have a baby??” You’re scared, but you know what.. you’re not alone. You need to remember that. A lot of moms feel this way but it’s not as expressed. Being a mom is the hardest job in the world. It’s not easy. You want everything to be perfect and it’s not. When you were pregnant, the future didn’t look like this. You honestly thought it was going to be a breeze. Your child would sleep through the night, she would be your absolute best friend and you would never have her spend the night away. But she didn’t sleep good last night and you would love for a grandparent to take her for the night. Why isn’t it going the way you thought? 

That’s an answer I wish I had. But you know what? It goes by so fast. You blink and that tiny baby is now 3 and is a big big sister. The saying is true. “The days are long but the years are short”. Those longs days that you didn’t think you would get through, guess what, you did. You really do need to take it one day at a time. Some days you love her so much you cry.. and there are some days she so difficult you cry. It’s worth it though. I think the hard times at the beginning makes you a better mom now. Makes you a real mom. Make you a good mom. 

Oh and then you have 2 more and doing a hell of a job! Look at you being a badass mom! 
Love,

Third time mom 
PS this isn’t the future you thought, but it’s the future you needed

Why did God give me all girls?

I have often wonder why God gave us 3 girls so close in age. Why couldn’t one of them just be a boy? A boy for my husband to teach car things too and to show him how to build things out of wood. For the longest time, my heart ached for my husband. I felt like I let him down for not giving him a boy. For not carrying on his last name. For not giving him a “buddy”. I seriously cried when they told me #3 was a girl. Why? Why did I cry? I am so blessed to be able to have 3 kids so why does it matter the gender? Honestly, it doesn’t matter. God gives you what you NEED not what you want.

We needed girls. We needed those sisters. We needed them to be there for each other. I’m not saying if we had a boy, they wouldn’t be close. I just think a sister bond goes deeper than anything. The love my girls have for each other amazes me every single day. The second one will just walk by and give her baby sister a kiss for no reason. The oldest will share her goldfish with her little sister just because she had an extra one. Both the older girls will rub the baby’s back when she is crying to calm her down. LOVE. Love is what they have for each other. I think those girls need each other and will be so close when they are older. Be best friends and that’s all I could ask for.

I’m learning each day I needed these girls. They really have changed my life for the better. and also my husband’s life. My husband has turned into a big softy when it comes to those girls. and you know what, he does have a “buddy” in them. My oldest loves to be outside with him while he is out there. They love their daddy, but their daddy loves them a lot more

Society puts some much emphasis on the “perfect family”. One of each means perfect. That is far from the truth. You are complete with what God gives you. All of our puzzle pieces fit perfectly. And you know what, If i could do it again, I would not change a thing. My 3 girls are all I need and will ever need. It can be hard at times just because they are so close in age, but everything is temporary. When they are older, I can see them leaning on each other for everything. and I love thinking about that. I also see all 4 of us being super close and wanting to do everything together. I cannot wait!

With that being said, thank you Lord for my healthy children. They are happy and loved. What else could a mom want? Gender doesnt matter. They are loved and I am loved. We are a complete family.

We do have a boy dog though. So my husband has another male in the house to talk to about us crazy girls. hahaha

 

 

 

I wish my bathroom looked like yours

“I wish my bathroom looked liked yours” a friend said as she sat back down on my couch. I gave her a weird look. She continued “you have bath toys and a stool for Harper to wash her hands. I cannot wait for the day when we have our bathroom looking like that.” When I see our bathroom, I see bath toys that needs to be put up in the bucket and a stool that I trip over when I’m giving the girls a bath. Why would anyone want our bathroom? and then it clicked. My friend and her husband have been trying for a few months to get pregnant and little things, like bath toys, mean babies in the house.

I look around our house and see one big advertisement for toys r us. We have toys, baby bouncers, small rocking chairs, a small trampoline, just stuff everywhere that belong to our kids. I often wish our living room was spotless and looked like something from a magazine. Now, what if my house was spotless? What if my house DID look like something from a magazine? Would I be happy? Would I be so glad there are no finger prints on the mirrors? Would I love that there is nothing to trip over or step on? Would I enjoy the quiet and finally have time to read the book that’s been on my nightstand for a few weeks?

 No, I wouldn’t.

The mess means kids. The mess means children playing. The mess means a toddler decided to put their sippy cup on the entertainment center because that’s where she could reach. The loud TV means a kid is watching Mickey Mouse and singing a long. A mess means my 3 year old ate half of bag of gold fish but put it down on the couch so she could push her sister on the little play car. Oh and the laughs. If it was quiet, there would be no giggles or laughs from daddy tickling them or their daddy giving them a piggy back ride around the house. There would be no dance parties in the middle of the living room to the song from trolls. There would be no life. No joy. 

We often think the grass is greener. I know there will be a day when our house will be spotless and quiet, but now, I will soak up all the craziness there is. There was a day when I couldn’t wait to have kids and dreamed of what our house would be. I sometimes forget how happy and blessed I am when I cry over spilled milk (literally).

A great quote to remember:

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for”

 

Babies don’t keep

Everything first for my youngest is my last. I will never have a first smile, first laugh, first sleeping through the night, first baby food, first roll over… You get the picture.

All these firsts are so exciting with your first child. You know you’ll have more so you kinda rush it. I couldn’t wait for her first crawl and walk. Sometimes I feel like I rushed her life and never really enjoyed it. I honestly do not remember her as a baby. I look at pictures and videos and that doesn’t even seem like it’s the same child that’s because babies dont keep.

I just knew I would enjoy all the firsts with my second child. Which I did to an extent. We found out we were pregnant with our youngest when my second was 4 months old so I knew I would do it all over again. I rushed her too. Couldnt wait for her to crawl and walk but she was a late bloomer and didn’t walk till 15 months, but now, I don’t remember her crawling around. I dont remember her sitting up for the first time. I dont remember any of it. Why? it’s because babies dont keep

With my last, I feel like I’m rushing her along too. When will you hold your own bottle? When will you sit up on your own so I dont have to hold you all the time? I also want her to be like her sisters already so it will make it easier on me. When the older girls are playing, I often think of the day when all 3 can play together. I think of the future and them being in the same dance class and on the same soccer team. It’s easy to think of the future when the present can be difficult, but I need to enjoy the time now because babies dont keep

But as they are getting older, there will be other firsts. First day of kindergarten, first A on a test, first dance, first crush… You get the picture. I don’t want to look back and not remember what these moments are like. Time flies by with kids. There will be a day when they dont want me to pick them up. A day where they dont want crawl in bed with me. A day where they can pour their own milk. So if babies dont keep. I know that schoolage, preteens, and teenagers dont keep

Enjoy every moment before the moments are just memories.

 

 

 

 

Not a fan of the title “Middle Child”

I have never liked the title “middle child”. If you’ve noticed it my posts, I refer to Averi as little sister. We have 3 girls so Harper is Big sister, Averi is little sister, and Carsen is baby sister. I’ve always felt that middle child came with a negative attachment. You always hear about the poor middle child. I don’t want Averi growing up thinking she is just the poor middle child. She is anything but that.

We found out Averi was going to be a big sister when she was 4mos old. I made it my mission to spend as much time as I could with her so we would have a bond like no other. Maybe it was because I felt guilty in a sense. I was pregnant most of her baby life and I couldn’t do the things I could when Harper was a baby. I know she wouldn’t know but I would. And man, did we bond. I love all my children the same but that little Averi is so special

She laughs ALL the time. She’ll just walk down the hall laughing for no reason. She can hold her own to her big sister but be so sweet and gentle to her baby sister. She get so excited when anyone walks through the door. I mean like really excited. She throws her hands up in the air and makes these funny noises. Everyone at her daycare has fallen in love with her. 

God knew she would have to fill a big sister role so early that he made her special.. and tiny. Guess he also wanted me to know what it’s like to have twins because little sister and baby sister are almost the same size 

I never want her to feel like the poor middle child and so far, I have accomplished that. I didn’t get the time I wanted to with her and I probably never will.. but I make sure I spend equal time with each child. Love my girls 

One bad day does not make you a bad mom

One bad day does not make you a bad mom. I saw this on instagram and fell in love with it. There will always be bad days. Days that make you want to lock yourself in the closet. Days that make you want to pull your hair out. Days that make you want to drink a bottle of wine (or 2). But looking back, you wont remember those days. You’ll remember the time you took them to the park and she slid down the slide by herself for the first time. You’ll remember the day she took her first steps or said mama. Those days. Those days make the bad days disappear. Every mom goes through bad days. I promise you there are no “perfect” moms. And if you think that, ask them to be a fly on their wall for a day. I bet they say cuss words underneath their breath. haha

You’re doing a great job, mom. Your kids are healthy and happy. That’s really all that matters. 

One bad day does not make you a bad mom. 

 

Baby dedication 

My middle and baby were dedicated today at church. It means so much to me that we our teaching our kids early about the lord. Harper can sing many bible songs and Averi tries. Haha I hope they always turn to the lord for everything! Is he our provider
“Train up a child in the way they should go, and when they are old, they will not turn from it” 

What a difference a year makes

A year ago today, we found out we were pregnant with our surprise baby. I remember like it was yesterday

1/20/2016 I just got off work and was heading to my favorite place, Target! While I was there I bought a pregnancy test. Earlier in the day, I looked at the calendar and saw I was a few days late. Nothing unusual for me, but decided to buy one anyways. I got home and did a few things around the house and then decided to test. I just knew it would be negative so I was not in any hurry. I finally took it and right when I peed on the stick, I saw those 2 pink lines. I GASPED!!! How can this be??? Averi is only 4 months old. I called my best friend and cried and cried. She finally calmed me down. After I got off the phone, i paced the floor. How are we going to afford another one? How can I take care of 3 kids? What are we going to do?

Brian came home at 6:30pm and I had the test with a note on the counter so he would see it right away. I was in the other room and he walked in there with a HUGE smile and said “Are you serious?” He was so happy which made me cry again.

The next 9 months were the worst months of my life. Taking care of a 2 year old and a baby plus being pregnant was hard. My pregnancy was emotionally draining and I was exhausted. This pregnancy was the hardest.

9/8/16 I went into labor at 37 weeks. Right when I saw her face, those worries just disappeared. I am so glad God blessed us with one more. She has been the biggest blessing to our family. She makes everyone happy and not a day goes by that I don’t thank God for her. It is hard having them so close in age, but I would do it again and again! I am so happy with my family. We are DONE now. I love my 3 girls

Oh memories

Don’t you just love timehop? You totally forget what you post on that day years ago. Some memories make me sad, some make me happy, and some maybe think OMG was that my baby???!?? Today was that moment. My oldest is now 3 and is a walking talking girlie girl. She has such a big heart and is so caring. She is our mama bear and takes care of all of us. Here is a picture of here 3 years ago today. When she was the only girl and she was her mommys world. She is still my world but she shares it with 2 others. I miss that chunky baby. They grow up so fast