“I wish my bathroom looked liked yours” a friend said as she sat back down on my couch. I gave her a weird look. She continued “you have bath toys and a stool for Harper to wash her hands. I cannot wait for the day when we have our bathroom looking like that.” When I see our bathroom, I see bath toys that needs to be put up in the bucket and a stool that I trip over when I’m giving the girls a bath. Why would anyone want our bathroom? and then it clicked. My friend and her husband have been trying for a few months to get pregnant and little things, like bath toys, mean babies in the house.
I look around our house and see one big advertisement for toys r us. We have toys, baby bouncers, small rocking chairs, a small trampoline, just stuff everywhere that belong to our kids. I often wish our living room was spotless and looked like something from a magazine. Now, what if my house was spotless? What if my house DID look like something from a magazine? Would I be happy? Would I be so glad there are no finger prints on the mirrors? Would I love that there is nothing to trip over or step on? Would I enjoy the quiet and finally have time to read the book that’s been on my nightstand for a few weeks?
No, I wouldn’t.
The mess means kids. The mess means children playing. The mess means a toddler decided to put their sippy cup on the entertainment center because that’s where she could reach. The loud TV means a kid is watching Mickey Mouse and singing a long. A mess means my 3 year old ate half of bag of gold fish but put it down on the couch so she could push her sister on the little play car. Oh and the laughs. If it was quiet, there would be no giggles or laughs from daddy tickling them or their daddy giving them a piggy back ride around the house. There would be no dance parties in the middle of the living room to the song from trolls. There would be no life. No joy.
We often think the grass is greener. I know there will be a day when our house will be spotless and quiet, but now, I will soak up all the craziness there is. There was a day when I couldn’t wait to have kids and dreamed of what our house would be. I sometimes forget how happy and blessed I am when I cry over spilled milk (literally).
A great quote to remember:
“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for”
Everything first for my youngest is my last. I will never have a first smile, first laugh, first sleeping through the night, first baby food, first roll over… You get the picture.
All these firsts are so exciting with your first child. You know you’ll have more so you kinda rush it. I couldn’t wait for her first crawl and walk. Sometimes I feel like I rushed her life and never really enjoyed it. I honestly do not remember her as a baby. I look at pictures and videos and that doesn’t even seem like it’s the same child that’s because babies dont keep.
I just knew I would enjoy all the firsts with my second child. Which I did to an extent. We found out we were pregnant with our youngest when my second was 4 months old so I knew I would do it all over again. I rushed her too. Couldnt wait for her to crawl and walk but she was a late bloomer and didn’t walk till 15 months, but now, I don’t remember her crawling around. I dont remember her sitting up for the first time. I dont remember any of it. Why? it’s because babies dont keep
With my last, I feel like I’m rushing her along too. When will you hold your own bottle? When will you sit up on your own so I dont have to hold you all the time? I also want her to be like her sisters already so it will make it easier on me. When the older girls are playing, I often think of the day when all 3 can play together. I think of the future and them being in the same dance class and on the same soccer team. It’s easy to think of the future when the present can be difficult, but I need to enjoy the time now because babies dont keep
But as they are getting older, there will be other firsts. First day of kindergarten, first A on a test, first dance, first crush… You get the picture. I don’t want to look back and not remember what these moments are like. Time flies by with kids. There will be a day when they dont want me to pick them up. A day where they dont want crawl in bed with me. A day where they can pour their own milk. So if babies dont keep. I know that schoolage, preteens, and teenagers dont keep
Enjoy every moment before the moments are just memories.
I have never liked the title “middle child”. If you’ve noticed it my posts, I refer to Averi as little sister. We have 3 girls so Harper is Big sister, Averi is little sister, and Carsen is baby sister. I’ve always felt that middle child came with a negative attachment. You always hear about the poor middle child. I don’t want Averi growing up thinking she is just the poor middle child. She is anything but that.
We found out Averi was going to be a big sister when she was 4mos old. I made it my mission to spend as much time as I could with her so we would have a bond like no other. Maybe it was because I felt guilty in a sense. I was pregnant most of her baby life and I couldn’t do the things I could when Harper was a baby. I know she wouldn’t know but I would. And man, did we bond. I love all my children the same but that little Averi is so special
She laughs ALL the time. She’ll just walk down the hall laughing for no reason. She can hold her own to her big sister but be so sweet and gentle to her baby sister. She get so excited when anyone walks through the door. I mean like really excited. She throws her hands up in the air and makes these funny noises. Everyone at her daycare has fallen in love with her.
God knew she would have to fill a big sister role so early that he made her special.. and tiny. Guess he also wanted me to know what it’s like to have twins because little sister and baby sister are almost the same size
I never want her to feel like the poor middle child and so far, I have accomplished that. I didn’t get the time I wanted to with her and I probably never will.. but I make sure I spend equal time with each child. Love my girls
One bad day does not make you a bad mom. I saw this on instagram and fell in love with it. There will always be bad days. Days that make you want to lock yourself in the closet. Days that make you want to pull your hair out. Days that make you want to drink a bottle of wine (or 2). But looking back, you wont remember those days. You’ll remember the time you took them to the park and she slid down the slide by herself for the first time. You’ll remember the day she took her first steps or said mama. Those days. Those days make the bad days disappear. Every mom goes through bad days. I promise you there are no “perfect” moms. And if you think that, ask them to be a fly on their wall for a day. I bet they say cuss words underneath their breath. haha
You’re doing a great job, mom. Your kids are healthy and happy. That’s really all that matters.
One bad day does not make you a bad mom.